three months!

My Tuesday afternoon friends: Kini and Susannah

Well, I’ve done it! Just over three months in Africa and this is officially the longest I’ve been away from Southern California. Oh what a sheltered girl I’ve been… but not anymore! Now that I’ve been out and have made it through the first few months, I’m beginning to see myself in South Africa more long term.  I am a planner by nature. From the moment I arrived in Africa I’ve been trying to plan my future here. First, it started out as, “I will absolutely not stay here any longer than six months. No way. I am going home to my comfortable life in So Cal in July and I will NOT become a full-time missionary!” It’s in times like that when I realize how much of a sense of humor God has. The mental picture I have is of me sitting crossed-legged with my arms folded. Pouting. And God… well he’s just chuckling to himself.  So now that I’ve been here three months, I am seeing how God has been working in me to change my heart.

 What is one factor that motivates us to stay in a place or to move from one place to another? COMMUNITY. We need it. As introverted as I claim to be, I have to be honest, I need to be in community with other people. My community back home is a reason why I didn’t want to think about staying here past six months. I LOVE my community back home. I had everything that I could ever need back home. All my friends, my family, my wonderful church and lovely small group. As I was preparing to come to South Africa, and even in my first two months here, I refused to really establish a solid community here. I was invited to social activities on a regular basis and claimed that I wasn’t “ready”.  I was suffering here and to make it stop I began to plan the next chapter in my life… and that did not involve serving in South Africa. I didn’t realize the mistake I was making until a friend back home brought it to my attention. I was lovingly told that I am running away from Africa. I had spent so much time in prayer and preparation before I came here. I trusted God. I KNEW He knew what was best for me. And I KNEW He wanted me in South Africa.  As humans, we stray. We lose our patience and we sometimes think we can handle our lives better than God can. I am so thankful though that God was patient with my stubborn heart and waited for me to come back.

sports with the younger kids

I realized that what I needed was community here. I have met some new people and am beginning to treat my relationships here like long-term relationships. When you have the mindset that you’ll leave in six months, there’s only so deep you can go in a friendship. God made it clear that He wanted me in South Africa. He never gave me an end date. I didn’t come here and keep my job back home or with plans of going to school in the fall. Which means that I will stay here until the Lord makes it clear that my time is up! So… I am beginning to make friends and I am really happy/excited about that!

I love looking down and seeing these beautiful faces

Once I began to think this way, things began to change. I started to feel like I had a purpose here. I have been involved with our HIV support group for children ages 9-16, called Rainbow Smiles. I have been going to this my entire three months here, but it wasn’t until about two weeks ago when I started to realize my role in that group. I am so excited to step into a role of leadership (which if you know me at all, you know that that is something I have tried to avoid at all costs). This group has been around for a while and whenever a new volunteer comes in, they help run the program. It’s so awesome for the volunteers and great for the children to meet new people, but the downside to it is that these children get attached to the volunteers and are very hurt when they leave. The program suffers and they have to start all over again when a new volunteer comes in. I am beginning to structure the program so that it is not solely dependent on foreign volunteers to run the program, but helps enable the local (South Africans from the townships) volunteers to step up and feel a sense of ownership with this group. It’s a big task, but I am eager and willing! Stay tuned for updates on my progress with Rainbow Smiles!

My wild Monday crew!

Thank you everyone for your continued prayers, love and support. Without a solid support system back home, my ministry here would not be as strong.